RESULTS
IWS Devil's Night
Le Break, October 29th, 2005
Recap
by
Llakor
IWS
Devil's Night Results
Saturday, October 29th, 2005
Le Break, Montreal, Quebec
From
the Time Keepers Table
Detailed Results for IWS Devils Night
Before Devils Night began, IWS owner PCP Crazy FN Manny
came to the ring to apologize to the fans for his actions
over the previous months, professing shock over the behaviour of Kevin
Steen and El Generico at Blood, Sweat and Beers. Kevin Steen, summoned
to the ring by Manny, turned the IWS owner back against the crowd
in about five seconds flat and went on to convince Manny to change
the booking for Devils Night. Dropping kayfabe to reveal that
Beef Wellington is the booker for the IWS, Kevin Steen got Manny to
put Beef and Damian in an impromptu dark match. (So that Steen and
El Generico would not have to face them in the main event.)
Manny summoned Jagger Miles and the Black Devil from the back to wrestle
against Damian and Beef Wellington. Did I say wrestle?
I think I meant summarily executed. To the cheers of the
blood-thirsty IWS fans, Damian kicked the Black Devil unconscious
in less than a minute, leaving Jagger to face Beef and Damian alone.
It is to his credit that Jagger lasted as long against those two as
he did, but after 5:03 Beef lifted Jagger into the Package Pile Driver
and Damian spiked it with a double foot stomp from the top.
Annoyed that Beef used his trademark finisher, Kevin Steen had Manny
throw Beef and Damian out of the building. With his opponents for
the night banished, Steen threw out an open challenge... answered
by the Flying Hurricanes.
Devils Night proper began with Fred la Merveille coming to the
ring accompanied by George W. Bush (or at least a cardboard cut-out
of the U.S. President.) Much to the dismay of the crowd, Fred had
himself announced as coming from Ste-Anne-des-Plaines, New York and
insisted on singing the US National anthem in distinctive Fred la
Merveille style. In the ensuing match against the beloved Player Uno,
Fred la Merveille won with assistance from the SLI-USA (Maxime Boyer
and Shayne Hawke) after 11:04, but not before Uno came within a heartbeat
of beating Fred with an M. Bison double foot stomp from the top rope
onto the back of Freds neck.
With the SLI-USA already in the ring, Fred summoned the Hardcore Ninjaz
to the ring. Evening the odds against them with the help of their
trademark kendo sticks, the Ninjaz won a hard fought battle after
10:07. The win came despite massive cheating on the part of SLI-USA
and the best efforts of Maxime Boyer who is already good, but seems
to get better every time that I see him. In fact, Maxime was poised
to win the match by leaping off the top rope onto Hardcore Ninja Number
One when the Evil Ninja crotched him on the top rope. And when I say
crotched on the top rope I dont mean that the Ninja
lightly brushed the ropes and Maxime lost his balance and fell. I
mean the Evil Ninja grabbed Maximes right leg, damn near pulled
it out of its socket, Maxime landed on the ropes full speed
and then ricocheted off them onto his head.
Pissed off at the loss of the SLI-USA, Fred la Merveille refused to
leave the ring to allow the next match to start... a position that
he flip-flopped on in a hurry when IWS ring announcer announced Viking
was coming to the ring. Fred bailed, leaving Maxime and Shayne to
get pounded by Viking. His opponent, Lionel Knight, took advantage
to ambush Viking from behind. This initial advantage evaporated quickly
as the always emotional Viking seems to have finally found a way to
harness that volatility to ensure victory. Viking pinned Lionel Knight
in 5:37 after his Tueur des Policiers.
(Excuse the digression, but I need to Speak On This. I have previously
written about how a variety of IWS stars have elevated their game
this year: Damian, Tomassino, Kid Kamikaze. Viking just joined that
list and he did so in dramatic fashion. Coming to the ring in a new
grittier, more urban outfit with a stapler dangling from his neck
- the stapler being a trademark of Vikings in his pre SLI days
- Viking flashed the crowd a new hand signal: grabbing his right wrist
with his left hand and spreading his fingers wide. I didnt get
it at first. In my notes I wrote, Viking signals for the Claw?
Then, Viking set up Lionel Knight in the corner and CHARGED across
the ring to slap his chest and I got it. Viking was calling for LE
SLAP. And let me tell you, Vikings running slaps on Lionels
chest were so loud that there were customers in the Video 2000 downstairs
from Le Break wincing.
Quebec has this weird tendency to focus on a wrestlers shape.
I have always argued that you should focus on a wrestlers cardio...
and his passion. Viking does not have the shape; he runs a little
to the chubby side; he looks like a guy who enjoys the odd six-pack...
or two. But passion? Intensity? Look, Lionel Knight is a talented
wrestler. He can take care of himself in the ring. But last night
Viking tore him apart and the crowd ERUPTED for it. The Viking bandwagon
is leaving the station - get on board now.)
The Sultans of Smug, 2.0, Jagged and Shane Matthews wanted an easy
title defence so they hand-picked their opponents calling out the
two men that they named The Rock and Clock Express Twiggy
and Pornstar Juan. The tag team champions badly underestimated their
opponents however. Perhaps taking inspiration from a crack that I
made that the only way that Twiggy could be considered a high calibre
opponent was if he was fired out of a cannon, Juan turned his own
partner into a weapon using him in a series of innovative moves to
batter down 2.0. He also used a pumpkin as a weapon, In the end, Uncle
Manny had to come to the ring to save 2.0s belts and give
them the win after 9:1. Truly 2.0 can say that they have been Touched
by an Uncle!
How strong is Tomassino? Last night Il Mostro proved his
strength in dramatic fashion, putting the Green Phantom through the
top rope barely seconds into their match. When I say that, I dont
mean that he clothes-lined the Hardcore Hero over the top rope. I
mean that he charged the Green Phantom and hit the top rope so hard
that it snapped like a piece of stale licorice. While the ring crew
scrambled to remove the broken steel cable from the ring, the two
men pounded on each other, in and out of the ring. The stipulations
for the match were that the Green Phantom got five minutes in the
ring alone with Tomassinos manager, Joey Soprano, if he won,
but that if he lost the Hardcore Hero would have to sign onto Sopranos
stable.
Despite Tomassinos size and strength, the Green Phantom emerged
victorious after 7:32. While he had five minutes with Joey Soprano,
it only took the Hardcore Hero a minute and a half to make an impression
on Joey Soprano, wiping him out with a light tube skateboard.
Fortunately, we had already planned an intermission after the Green
Phantom/Tomassino match as it gave our ring crew enough time to rearrange
the ring ropes so that instead of having no top rope, we ended up
with no bottom rope for the last three matches.
After the intermission, Chris Bishop defended his IWS Canadian title
coming to the ring with the belt for the first time after stealing
it back from Kid Kamikaze the night before at UWA Hardcore wrestling
in Mississauga, Ontario. Bishop defended the title against Dan Paysan
(accompanied by an underdressed D-Vyn) and against Kid Kamikaze who
came to the ring with Vanessa Kraven dressed up as Storm from the
X-Men in her old school classic billowing white and yellow outfit.
My notes tell me that Dan Paysan was an Italian whirlwind last night:
suplexing Chris Bishop into Kid Kamikaze in the corner; pile driving
Chris Bishop through two chairs; breaking up a Chris Bishop bridge
pin on Kid Kamikaze with a top-rope double foot stomp; joining Bishop
for an insane double dive to the outside. Ironically, Dan was poised
for victory when Kid Kamikaze kicked a chair into Dans face
for the pin at 12:09. In other words, Chris Bishop lost his Canadian
title without getting pinned for it.
Making his return to the IWS, Sexxxy Eddy demanded a title shot against
EXesS, the man who stole his IWS title and helped put Eddy on the
shelf with a bloody mouth injury that eventually cost Eddy two teeth.
On his arrival at Devils Night, Eddy demanded that a stipulation
be added to the match: First Blood. This first ever IWS First Blood
match also saw Eddy wrestling in a shirt for the first time that I
can remember. This ended up costing Eddy the match in unusual fashion.
Eddy discarded the shirt rather dramatically about fifteen minutes
in. Eddy finally busted open EXesS after about twenty minutes, but
Senior Official P-Nut was unconscious by that point and EXesS smartly
kept kicking him to keep him down until he could retrieve Eddys
shirt and wipe off the blood. When P-Nut finally regained consciousness
at 25:38, it was Eddy who was wearing EXesS blood. P-Nut immediately
awarded the match to EXesS.
EXesS got on the mike to crow about his victory and to taunt the IWS
locker room that there was no one in the back who could beat him.
At this point, former IWS champion, Pierre Carl Ouellet hit the ring
and introduced EXesS to his blue ting a giant blue cast
that covers virtually his entire right arm. PCOs clothesline
damn near took off EXesS head.
Long-time IWS fans might remember that there is history between these
two men. PCO beat EXesS in his very first IWS title defence during
Violent Valentines, February 28th, 2004. Later that year, in May,
during Tournament of the Icons, EXesS got his revenge by beating PCO
by submission with a slight assist from then IWS Commissioner Joseph
FitzMorris who pulled the ropes just out of PCOs reach three
times so that it appeared to the ref that PCO had actually tapped
three times.
In the main event, Kevin Steen and El Generico beat the Flying Hurricanes
after 24:37 despite some high-flying heroics from the former IWS tag
team champions including a criss-cross double dive and a scaffold
Slither splash by Kenny the Bastard. During the match,
Kevin Steen tried (and failed) to execute Beef Wellingtons trademark
ass punch to taunt his rival.
(For those of you were wondering how effective a heel El Generico
could possibly be... Effective, hated, loathed, ass-hole traitor.
In fact, he has inspired with such a hatred for all things Spanish
that after I post this article I am going to take a two by four to
the back of the head of my illegal immigrant Chilean gardener and
then go to a cinema playing The Legend of Zorro and yell
FIRE!)
After the match, Kevin Steen damn near started a riot, leading to
a surreal moment as IWS security restrained a near senior citizen
from taking a shot at Steen. Just as it seemed that the crowd was
about to take matters into their hands, Damian and Beef Wellington
charged back into Le Break. The ensuing brawl took the entire IWS
locker room to clear and keep the four men apart. Beef issued a challenge
to Kevin Steen and El Generico for the next IWS show, December 3rd,
Seasons Beatings. In the chaos, it is unclear whether Steen
and Generico accepted the challenge, although it is certainly clear
that Steen further infuriated the crowd by hurling racial epithets
at Beef Wellington related to his pairing with former Angry
Aryan Damian.
When I asked Mike Burns how much of the riot he got, he told me Everything!
despite the fact that filming inside the chaos must have been the
wrestling equivalent of filming inside a hurricane.
Our next show is Seasons Beatings, Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
at Le Break, 20 Cremazie East (corner of St-Laurent near Metro Cremazie),
Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00
pm. 18+ Card and schedule subject to change. VIP tickets are $20,
Regular tickets are $15. You can purchase VIP tickets at Le Break
or online by paypal ([email protected])