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RESULTS
Recap
by IWS
Blood, Sweat & Beers - 2005 Results
Dark
Match - Jagger Miles vs. Jimmy Stone There being no Bloodstream, Manny (in a suit!!!) and 2.0 (also in suits!) entertained the crowd along with Franky the Mobster in a live "Cunt-Stream"
Manny announced that the Arsenal is under suspension for testing positive for anabolic steroids. Since the Arsenal was under that suspension when he ambushed and pinned Franky the Mobster during the Gauntlet match at Extreme Dream II, Manny declared that the Gauntlet match was null and void and that Franky the Mobster was the Number One Contender for EXesS' IWS Title. Fred started the show by inviting out Viking. Before Viking could get some revenge on Fred for putting him through a chair with a top rope swinging pedigree at Extreme Dream II, Viking was ambushed by the "New SLI" - Superstar Shayne Hawke and Superstyle Maxime Boyer. After disposing of Viking, Fred announced that he had decided to place his allegiance with the one country that supported him this past year - the Philadelphia fans who chanted "Please Come back!" during Freedom to Fight, turning his back on the Quebec fans for daring to cheer louder for Damian and the Evil Ninja than for Fred. Unveiling a life-size cut-out of US President George W. Bush and ditching his Quebec flag for a US one, Fred pledged his allegiance to the US and George W. Bush. He punctuated this declaration by giving his valet (and proud Canadian) Elsa Bangz a MASSIVE swinging pedigree. All of this lead to an impromptu six man tag match between Fred and the New SLI-USA on one side and Player Uno and the Flying Hurricanes on the other. Player Uno quickly showed where his loyalties lay by landing a HUGE leg drop on a US handkerchief belonging to Shayne Hawke. (After the match, talking to Player Uno, I discovered that the Mushroom Kingdom and the US are in the midst of a massive trade dispute involving Shitaki mushrooms. The US claims that the Mushroom Kingdom unfairly subsidizes the cost of growing mushrooms by being a giant mushroom patch. The Mushroom Kingdom counter-claims that the entire US trade department are out of their freaking minds. Despite the Mushroom Kingdom winning at every level of trade arbitration, the US continues to levy crippling tariffs on imports from the Mushroom Kingdom.) (Then again since Player Uno communicates by beeping and hand gestures, he may have simply been saying that he had gas.) Also, I should mention that Viking attacked and brutalized Hawke and Boyer after the match. Fred got away though.
SLI-USA:
Fred la Merveille & Shayne Hawke & Maxime Boyer A fun match with a very cool dive sequence. Takao seemed to get his bell rung early in the match but gritted it out. The new SLI-USA, despite having just been formed,worked smoothly as a unit.
Kid
Kamikaze vs Dan Paysan How do you say "Pretzel" in Italian? Kid Kamikaze's submissions get nastier every month, I swear to God. Not to say that this wasn't a balanced match. Dan's high-flying is more than a match for Kid Kamikaze's mat wrestling. Dan hits the ropes for his sling-shot aerobatics like he is trying to tear down the ring. Oh and D-Vyn for the second time in two shows was absolutely MURDERED. Last month, at Hardcore Heat, she ate a suplex from Elsa Bangz. This month she took a SICK Power Bomb from Vanessa Kraven. Which is a bit like being power-bombed by Vader only Vader's tits are slightly bigger and floppier than Vanessa's.
The
Green Phantom vs. Tomassino Another very even match. Phantom's brawling ability and experience would have given him the match if P-Nut wasn't distracted by Angelina's breasts. (Though to be fair, they are spectacular.) Tomassino seems to get better with every match. He has gone from a tall, skinny kid in yellow pants to a FUCKING MONSTER. A legit 6' 8" with supernatural agility for his size. Watching him do a kip-up or climbing the ropes in one motion to give the Green Phantom a top-rope Enziguri is freaking terrifying. No one that big should be that agile or that fast.
Team
Photosynthesis (El Generico & Beef Wellington) 2.0 succesfully defended their IWS tag team titles, double-pinning Beef Wellington in 14:18. Fun match with Beef being beaten from post to post until he was able to tag El Generico in. Fun dive sequence as well. Ultimately, 2.0's teamwork was a little bit smoother than Team Photosynthesis. Just prior to the intermission, Manny came to the ring to congratulate 2.0 on defending their gold... and called out the Evil Ninja. The Hardcore Ninja Number TWO! was losing the numbers game until he was abruptly rescued by a kendo-wielding Hardcore Ninja Number One who has been away from the IWS ring since Violent Valentines 2004, more than 18 months. The crowd went nuts giving the white-clad Ninja a big "Welcome Back" chant and "Hardcore Who? Hardcore Ninja That's Who!" (IWS crowds REMEMBER! That chant hadn't been used in close to two years!)
Chris
Bishop vs. Lionel Knight Two guys who know each other very well putting on a great match in front of hot crowd who have never seen the two men fight. This is wrestling as it ought to be. (Oh and just to twist the knife on Lionel Knight being called Eddie Murphy by the IWS crowd... Stab, our DJ, substituted Lionel's regular opening theme for the soundtrack to Beverly Hills Cop. Lionel was not impressed. The IWS fans loved it.)
Franky
the Mobster vs. EXesS EXesS is so dangerous. Franky has EXesS set up for his sit-out choke slam, EXesS turns it into his stretch muffler submission. Frank manages to get to the ropes, on the break gets EXEsS into position for the choke slam again and this time EXesS reverses it into a pinning roll-up and when Franky tries to roll out of it, EXesS just sits down forcing Franky's shoulders into the mat. Sweet finish.
Kevin
Steen vs. Damian Their first match was STIFF and GREAT. This match? STIFFER and BETTER. My favourite match this year. Beef interfered on behalf of Damian a little after the 21 minute mark. After the match, Beef continued to taunt Kevin Steen. A punch-drunk Steen got the advantange on Beef until El Generico came to the ring... and turned on Beef himself with an OLE! kick to the face. Kevin
Steen then proceeded to cut an absoultely MOLTEN promo attacking Beef
and declaring that the IWS now belonged to him and El Generico and
that there was no one to stop them from doing whatever they wanted.
Not for the first time, Kevin Steen got the crowd so wound up that
Security, Manny and Guppie were almost peeling fans off Steen when
he left the ring. |
